Farm Animals, Drunk Kittens And Freaked Out Mennonites!

I think if you look up the definition of random, you just might find my picture alongside the definition.  I'm making the dictionary look sexy, y'all.

Trying to have an in-depth conversation with me, can, at times, be just as frustrating as herding drunk kittens.  Very rarely can a conversation topic or person hold my interest long enough that I develop some sort of interest in either.  Off the top of my head, there are a few people that fall into the talented cat herding category.  I like to think it's because they're just damn awesome people who understand and can appreciate my lack of inner monologue, and my 15 second attention span (okay, I'm sure it's much longer than that, but hey, I never seem to have a stop watch to measure out these sorts of things).  

The one person that sees my randomness the most would be my best friend Trish.  I love this woman (in a non-lesbian, friendship, platonic sort of way).  I'm not quite sure if she's ever surprised by the stuff that comes out of my mouth, but I do catch her off guard from time to time.  Our weekly road trips provide us with hours of entertainment possibilities.  Driving through the back roads of Southwestern Ontario has provided many a "oh look over there" moments.  You can say that I am easily distracted by farm animals that may be on the side of the road "ooh, look, cows" or "ooh, sheep!" is mentioned at least once on every trip.  I still want to drive up to a farmer's house and ask them if I can go out to their pasture and frolic with their livestock.  I think doing this might make even the nicest Mennonite family angry, worried, or just downright concerned for their safety.  But not Trish.  She thinks that it would be "hilarious as fuck" to do (her words, not mine).  Besides, even if we did do that, what's worst thing that could happen?  We run back to the truck and floor it off their property.  They wouldn't even have the horse hitched up to the buggy by the time we made it down the highway.

I wonder if there's a market for a miniature animal petting zoo for little people...I mean, if you had Shetland ponies, miniature cows, teacup pigs, Pigmy goats and sheep on your farm/petting zoo, would it seem less threatening to little people that the animals aren't quite twice the size of them and less likely to trample them to death if the cow or horse goes all apeshit?  I think I've got to look into this.  This could possibly be a most interesting attraction somewhere in the states...but not as interesting as a cheese and taxidermy shop all rolled into one (yes, this place does exist.  Can you just imagine? Squirrel and stilton or, perhaps a beaver and brie? Maybe a capybara and some cheddar?)  

This is the randomness that keeps me up at night...needless to say, I have some pretty damn interesting dreams.

I'll write again soon!

An Introduction

Hello.  My name is Christine, and I suffer/enjoy/live with "ooh, bright shiny/hey there's a squirrel" syndrome.

Some may call it ADHD/ADD, but since I haven't officially been diagnosed, and I'm not quite intelligent to go all Dr. Phil on myself just yet (a few more episodes and I MIGHT be qualified), I'm going with bright shiny/hey there's a squirrel syndrome.

It's not such a terrible thing to have,really.  Hell, even I surprise myself with the things that come out of my mouth sometimes.  Perhaps I should be rented out for parties-far more entertaining than a stripper, less expensive, and I guarantee that if you were to laugh at what I say, it won't get you a slap upside the head...which is what I predict would happen to you if you were to laugh at a stripper and her less than smooth dancing skills (hey, maybe she's dancing to make money to go to dance school? Who knows).  

At any rate, I sometimes find my brain going 105 miles a minute, and my thought process is all over the darn place.  So what better idea than to put it to paper/blog?  It'll read like IKEA instructions, without the fancy furniture, but with a few loose screws at the end of it all. And, much like the process of assembling IKEA furniture, it will be entertaining.  


I hope you enjoy...or, at the very least get a good chuckle.  Buckle up, and enjoy the ride!